Still Missing You

I can't believe it’s been 4 years ago that Dad passed away.
Baseball season just started up here and I am helping coach Tanner's team. Dad used to coach us and I have a lot of great memories of Dad at my baseball games always cheering us on and helping me with whatever I was struggling with.

We had a lot going on before he passed away I was getting ready to take a new job in Seattle WA, and was selling our house in Riverton UT, and was traveling back and forth to Boston MA for training but was able to spend some good quality time with him. Looking back through my journal here are some of the events about one week before he passed.

March 17 I came back to SLC and found Dad in great spirits. He is doing well and being a trooper against this cancer and fighting a good fight. I spent all day Saturday redoing and prepping their room for painting. During that time Dad was working at home collecting money and training his replacement for the Summit Group. Sunday we spent to good quality time visiting with Mom and Dad. One thing I will miss is every Friday night, I would take Tanner & Carter while Jess was working and go over and have Wingers at Mom and Dads house. I would never tell them I was coming, but they always had wings for me when I showed up. We would sit and just talk and catch up on our lives and what we are doing.

Mar 20th I flew out to Boston for training and was supposed to fly from there direct to Seattle but instead I flew back to SLC to spend some time with Dad. Mar 23, showed up to the house to see Dad in some pain. He said that earlier that week he had been sanding the wall in the bedroom so we could start to paint. Later that evening we watched the Jazz game on his bed and had a great time.

Mar 24th Mom called me at 6:00 am. Dad was having a lot of chest pain and called emergency, and they are on their way now. I quickly got ready drove over picked mom up and we went to the hospital. Because of the pain in his stomach it was causing a lot of stress on his heart. They took some X-rays after they brought him back into the room, and he was in great amount of pain still. The X-rays showed that the cancer had punctured the small intestine and was now leaking bacteria into Dad. Dr. said that he had anywhere from two hours - two days left to live. I can't express the emotions that I felt when they shared that news. I watched Mom and Dad embrace as they cried. Dad said, "Well I guess that is it, I lost this fight to cancer". (I might add he may have lost the fight but I have never seen a nobler fight. He fought it well, he never let it get him down, always had a positive outlook on life. He could have been bitter but he chose to let it humble him and he drew closer to God. He never let it slow him down. He would push through the pain and get up and go to work. He was resilient in the face of opposition. He taught me how to truly fight through our struggles and leave the rest up to God.)

After Mom and Dad embraced I gave Dad a hug and he said, "I'm sorry for not being a better father". I assured him that in my opinion he had been a great father and he need not worry about that. I told him I loved him and he said, "I love you too Todd and take care of your mother." We then all embraced and cried.
We then called Tyler and Kari who lived out of state and let them know to get here quickly. We took Dad home and set up Hospice. Friends and family came by and expressed their love and support and said their last goodbyes. Tyler and Kari got there later that evening and we all sat around and shared memories.

Mar 25th, came back to the house early that next morning and Dad was still conscious I came into the room and Dad said Hi Todd, I love you. We shared an embrace and then we gave him a blessing of comfort and about 1 hour later Dad departed this life.
A day never passes that I don't reflect on a memory or miss his words of encouragement or miss his friendship. I miss you Bud!